[00:00:00]
Genecia Alluora: I believe we can change the world, but that first, we've got to stop living in fear of being judged for who we are. Hi, I'm Genecia Alluora, founder of the number one leading female entrepreneur network in Southeast Asia, supporting 1 million women to own and love the F word. Being fabulous, having freedom, financial independence and family. With a challenge to women everywhere to stop talking themselves out of their dreams. So why? Secrets of the Soul Rich Woman Blueprint identifies the excuses to let go of, the behaviors to adopt, and the skills to acquire on the path to growth, confidence, and believing in yourself to be recognized as a leader online, get clients online, and to have more impact on the world.

[00:00:48]
Genecia Alluora: Stop believing the lies about who you are so you can become who you were meant to be. You are just an F word away from the life you want, the marriage you want, the family that you want is going to be fueled by the business and life you build. Join me, be a Soul Rich Woman. Alone we are strong. Together, we are unstoppable. Welcome to the show.

[00:01:17]
Genecia Alluora: Hello and welcome to today's episode. My name is Genecia Alluora. How are you today? I hope it's beautiful and gorgeous for you today. A blessed day, in fact. So today I want to talk about entrepreneurship depression and suicide is real. And I totally get you if you ever have encountered it yourself or maybe even have gone through or even maybe going through yourself. Now, this is a very, very important topic that is very close to my heart because I suffered depression when I went through my six figure debt and I almost committed suicide by, you know, first thinking about crashing my car. And jumping off my building where I was living at in Singapore. I live on the 10th floor, so it's quite easy to just open the window and just jump for me. I wanted to do that. So when I was going through these dark times, I thought I had nobody to turn to. I just felt that I was useless, dirty, ugly, stupid, fucked up everything possible about me. And, you know, being a beauty queen as well has its own repercussions.

[00:02:52]
Genecia Alluora: Oh, you know, beauty with no brains, you stupid ass. You know? I was just scolding myself repeatedly, you know, good for nothing. You disgrace your family. These are just some of the many negative thoughts that went through my mind and shattered my soul. I saw dark images every single night, and I suffered from insomnia and I couldn't sleep tossing and turning crying in my bed under my blankets, crying myself to sleep. It's such a terrible moment that I knew in my heart that even I told my best friends. Nobody will understand what it feels like to be depressed or going through a six figure debt or even just literally going through emotional turmoil knowing that. You know, whether the business is going to go forward or the business is going to die literally. So it sounds like a pretty dark episode, isn't it, at this point? My heart still pains, even up to today, thinking about if I had not done this thing I literally would have jumped off the building that night.

[00:04:26]
Genecia Alluora: I really remember was driving home and then I already had very dark thoughts and I couldn't control myself anymore. My hand, my heart, my eyes was seems was clouded. And by the time I reached home I knew I couldn't take it anymore. I mustered up my courage and picked up the phone and texted my pastor. And I see it. Pastor, I really need your help. I really need you to pray for me. And he said, Oh, okay, let me put my kids to sleep. And then I'll call you in 15 minutes. Due enough in 15 minutes he called me. And he asked me, what's wrong, Genecia? Are you okay? I said, I'm not okay, Pastor. I just felt that I'm going to commit suicide again. Since the last conversation we had. And he said, don't worry, let me pray for you. Tell me what's going on in your mind right now. Share with me. And so I shared with him. He prayed in the next 5 to 10 minutes, which felt like months and years, literally. The moments that minutes passed by. I just felt totally immersed in the whole thing, but it felt really long and slow.

[00:06:03]
Genecia Alluora: And by the time he finished praying for me. I open up my eyes. My whole I saw in front of me this black cloud with my windows open, just floated in front of me and floated out of the room. And I just felt really light. Darkest moments in your life like this. Do you actually ask for help? I'm a business owner, Miss Singapore the least. When I ask for help, people mock at me. Because people like, Oh, you are successful, you know, you should be doing you should be doing what you can do. You don't need. Because in this society people look at us as leaders. As role models, it's difficult to ask for help. Well when we mustered up our courage to open up our mouth and speak the magical word. Please help me. It seems like it's so prideful. It seems like we are useless. It seems like we can't do it anymore. And that's why we're asking for help. No, it's not. Let me tell you. If I hadn't asked for help that night, I would not be here today. Sitting here and sharing with you this moment of depression and suicide.

[00:07:40]
Genecia Alluora: It took me months and months before eventually I got out. So that's on the spiritual side I asked for help. I also asked for help with my business mentor and asked him. I said, James, can you guide me how to get out of my six-figure debt? Can you show me the way? I know, I know. I may not have studied business. I'm not smart. And you see my speech pattern again. I just keep on myself. I keep belittling myself. I keep playing small because I feel so small. And because eventually I did ask for help. And we have I have really good mentors. Whom really opened up their arms and guide me through, lead me out of the darkness. The tunnel seemed so far and so long the journey. There are days I just want to sleep and pretend I never see anything or hear anything or don't even want to take action on all the entrepreneurship must do and have to do. The 5 a.m.. You know, got to wake up early and do this and do that. Keep your state higher, keep your momentum going, keep your consistency and keep your batching of content going. Grow the team. I will. All I knew was just dragging my feet and sleeping and nothing else. Like literally it was hibernation for me.

[00:09:13]
Genecia Alluora: Looking back, I'm glad I did ask for help. And today you're listening to this episode. It's not by chance. I want to encourage you that even in your darkest moments, you have me. You have someone out there waiting for you to let you ask for help. Let you. Waiting for you to hear your cries and to hear you speak. Lending you a hand to walk you out of darkness and into the light. Looking back now, if I had not asked for help, I would have been buried in the ashes today. And because I did ask for help, I now built the largest female entrepreneur network in Southeast Asia, connecting more than 200,000 women across the region and even going on working with Success Resources, the largest seminar organizer in the world, standing alongside T Half Acre, Robert Kiyosaki, Elena Cardone, Gary Vaynerchuk, Sheryl Sandberg. All these big names reaching out to the global audience today.

[00:10:40]
Genecia Alluora: We are called on this planet Earth for a reason. A purpose. Don't let that go to waste. The power is within you. You are possible when you change your heart and change your mind. Ask for help your life will be transformed today. I love you. And as sending you my love, good vibes to wherever you are listening to me right now. I just want to say that if you ever need clarity and coaching, you can connect with me at soulrichwoman.com/clarity. Have a blessed day. Bye for now.

[00:11:40]
Genecia Alluora: Thank you for joining me today. I would love you to connect with me on Linkedin, Facebook, or Instagram and share with me your thoughts on today's episode at Genecia Alluora. Alternatively, you can send me an email at hello@soulrichwoman.com. I have a free gift for you on our website. Secrets of personal branding and also how do you delegate 80% of your to do list to your assistant so you can make money online and focusing on your zone of genius? And that is available at soulrichwoman.com. Join the number one leading female entrepreneur network in Southeast Asia, connecting more than 200,000 women across the region. Be a Soul Rich Woman. Dream to shine. Woman leader, leader activated. Alone, you are strong. Together, we are unstoppable.