[00:00:01]
Genecia Alluora: Hey gorgeous. Welcome to today's episode. One of my favorite part of the training audio. Why? Because we are talking about money and relationships and obviously it's all about your partner's money blocks.

[00:00:20]
Genecia Alluora: It's something that is really tricky and when you're working on your mindset to break through the blocks to your F word, fabulous freedom, financial independence and happy family and then your partner is really skeptical and cynical or worse flat out negative about money. So I thought we'll address it and I've got some tips for you to get your partner on board together with you to own and love the effort together. Now the lesson is going to give us a lot to tap on, a lot to forgive. I can guarantee you it's going to be really worth it.

[00:01:06]
Genecia Alluora: After all, it's the one thing and only thing to change your habits. But if you are dealing with someone else's then you can feel like they are enabling your old behavior or worse, sabotaging your new self, sabotaging your new habits of your new self. So obviously the person that you live with can have a huge impact on your mindset and happiness and your F-word. And this is something that has come up in soul rich woman so many times before. There are daily challenges when you have a partner in your life and you have to deal with these partners or your partners and our partners.

[00:01:50]
Genecia Alluora: So you are not alone and you're never alone as we troubleshoot these problems together. And by the way, I just want to say you can have a partner if you don't have one. You can manifest and you can attract a partner who is going to be your soulmate in your life. Okay? So if you're in a couple relationship, this is going to come up for you.

[00:02:18]
Genecia Alluora: Partner money blocks your relationship with your partner and your relationship with your partner's money idea and we are going to talk about it today. So remember, we are entrepreneurs so we are often creating new grounds. We are moving forward. We are always in the forefront. Usually there has never been a better time to be an entrepreneur so that we can make more money from anywhere in the world and we are striving to make more from, make more money so that we can do things from doing things that we love and that is the new territory.

[00:02:55]
Genecia Alluora: Now your partner might be in a traditional job and might not understand what you're doing or maybe you feel guilty about how you are making money easily and doing something that you love. Maybe you are both entrepreneurs and you experience the feast and famine. That means the time there's a lot of money versus the time there's a lot of debts. This kind of entrepreneurial rollercoaster ride together. So there's a lot to discuss and really look at because if you are anything like my relationship, you are going to have days when you trigger the shit out of each other.

[00:03:39]
Genecia Alluora: Hey, no relationship is perfect, right? So the first thing to say is that your money stuff is your responsibility, not theirs. Now, many women have said to me that their biggest money block is their husband. Or they said that their biggest money block is their boyfriend. And I'm like oh, because nobody can be your block, you are your biggest money block.

[00:04:14]
Genecia Alluora: Nobody else can affect you, including your ex boyfriend. I have have clients coming to me and say I'm not making money in my business because my ex boyfriend is distracting me. This and that, they are just a symbol of that. Because you created that resistance to block you from making the next level income because you are afraid. There could be some hidden fears and they are usually really good at triggering your money blocks.

[00:04:46]
Genecia Alluora: But you can't let them be your excuse to why you can't change your money mindset or why things aren't working out for you as a soul rich woman. They can absolutely influence your money blocks, but ultimately it's your responsibility to deal with their own stuff. They will have to deal with their own money blocks and their own subordinates. And you cannot fix them for them because it's within them. You can only work on yours.

[00:05:16]
Genecia Alluora: And that's how the universe rules work. When you're talking about money blocks and subotages, we can't help the other person if they do want to help themselves, agree. So your life and your dreams are way too important to leave it to chance. So that you know, you can do this with or without your partner's support. Either way, you deeply and completely love and accept yourself and that's the most important thing.

[00:05:46]
Genecia Alluora: So obviously when you're upgrading your mindset, you are going to have it all. Your F-word, fabulous freedom, financial independence and happy family. It can change the dynamic in your relationship. And of course they are going to notice and see it when you're upgrading everything in your life, they can feel it because they know you when you haven't upgraded. So when you're upgrading, you are changing your aura changes, your energy, changes things that you do.

[00:06:18]
Genecia Alluora: You think, you say start to shift and it will trigger them. They are definitely going to notice your upgraded bra, your panties, your car, whatever that you are using, maybe your computer, your phone. There are definitely going to be some triggers and imbalance of power around money. There will definitely be some power struggle and also some, I would say fights that might happen and that is going to upset. This balance is definitely going to get worse as you get more abundant.

[00:06:56]
Genecia Alluora: And that is why if the partner is open to work on his money blocks and stuff, then things will be easier for both of you. So, for example, they might be used to you acting or spending in certain ways or maybe they are really very negative and you are crazy optimistic about money or vice versa maybe one likes to spend and the other doesn't. Maybe as a couple you have an upper limit about how much you are allowed to earn compared to your family, friends or neighbors. Now this is big stuff, really big. So don't be surprised if you get a little bit of backlash if things start to get awkward or difficult between the both of you I just want to ensure you is very normal maybe your partner used to be the bread winner that means he used to earn more than you.

[00:08:00]
Genecia Alluora: He used to be the one to give you money. Maybe they will feel unconsciously, threatened by how quickly, how quickly you are changing, so how quickly you are changing. And that's something to think about. They will definitely notice. And maybe your success, your awards that you win is threatening your husband's or boyfriend's masculinity or ego or your wife needs full control.

[00:08:37]
Genecia Alluora: Maybe they are worried that you will outgrow them, that you are making up stories about what will happen if you make more money. You also could be holding yourself back unconsciously so you don't rock the boat, so you don't strengthen the relationship and change the dynamic.

[00:08:56]
Genecia Alluora: They might even slightly start to sabotage you by playing games with your heart because they are worried that you will leave them. They might be completely unaware of those behaviors. But if you have seen it before, maybe when you have gone on a diet and suddenly they are bringing home lots of food or trying to tempt you you with alcohol during a detox. So I just want to say this. You can share with them about zone of genius, the tapping, what is sabotaging the behaviors so you can have a shared language.

[00:09:41]
Genecia Alluora: Now change can feel threatening, but as a couple, you totally can overcome this and together you can get stronger. Doing the money work on yourself means that you will learn about your triggers, your money stories, your perceived fears and how it affects you both as a couple. The best scenario that you do some of these audios together, but that's always not very realistic sometimes because it gets very overwhelming or it gets like as though you are forcing the person to do something. So don't really overthink it or get worried about it. Things are going to get awesome.

[00:10:24]
Genecia Alluora: You just share normally as a person, just share. It attracts the person to want to buy into what you are learning. So it can be awesome when both of you are doing this kind of work together. So let me give you a few tips and exercises. The best thing is you can do with a partner is to stay in constant communication, talk through everything together and make a commitment to learn and grow together.

[00:10:50]
Genecia Alluora: During this program whether you do it alone or together has the potential to help you both create a much better relationship with money and as a consequence, totally move up to the next level of your life together. Go from stuck to unstoppable. Whatever that you want, both of you can achieve it together. You might want to go through each of the content with your partner lesson by lesson or maybe just give them some headlines or some pointers or exercises to work on. You can declutter together.

[00:11:29]
Genecia Alluora: You can upgrade together. You can take action together. However, just to take note, they may not be as into the program as you. They may not be as into the audio as you, right? Because they don't really know who I am in the first place and that's okay.

[00:11:46]
Genecia Alluora: That is why it's important to introduce them to me and introduce them why you are doing this. So that will be something you want to be looking out for and everyone digests differently. And me with my partner James, he won't be proactive sometimes when it comes to certain personal development stuff. And yet at the same time he is super active when he decided that he wanted to transform his life, he has attended like Landmark Forum, Money and You and Tony Robbins program. And I'm really blessed to have somebody who is into personal development and be willing to work with me with my money blocks.

[00:12:34]
Genecia Alluora: Work with me together with his money blocks. And as I try to share things with him, he is very open. Sometimes, of course, he will be distracted, but then with the background and his willingness is easier for me to work with him. And sometimes he gets it much easier and quicker than I do because of his he's much older and he's much wiser. He has more experience.

[00:13:01]
Genecia Alluora: So your partner might not need to go through everything to get a good result in their mindset. Like, I have tried to force and get James to make dream boards, but he actually get rare bought because that's not something he liked to do or he wants to do. But we get him to talk about what cars he want, visit dream houses which lender property we want to get, which overseas investment of properties you want to do. He go crazy. And he is super enthusiastic about it.

[00:13:33]
Genecia Alluora: So very different based on his interest. So if you don't force that audio or this program onto your partner, just let him be. Men especially like things to be real. Or sometimes you might just want to skip parts. There still a bit cannot understand for them because it's something that maybe girls and women are a little bit more interested in.

[00:13:58]
Genecia Alluora: So just involve them in what is going to engage with them the most. Okay? And also he gets very excited when I share my big AHA with him. He gets very kind of like, okay, so this is your AHA moment. Because he can see how excited I get when I understand certain things or when I have my realization.

[00:14:27]
Genecia Alluora: I have my own personal breakthrough. He will observe and hear my languaging. He will try and understand what a woman is thinking. So I'm very happy and very grateful and thankful that I have an amazing partner, amazing soul mate. Okay, so for example, the Money Memories exercise.

[00:14:47]
Genecia Alluora: You could do it alone or go through the Hope Forgiveness Ritual, which is awesome because you'll get the deep and clean transformation for yourself. Then you could share some of your most symbolic memories with a partner. You could also share how some of your experiences have shaped your money behaviors. Get vulnerable and get real. It's okay to cry even.

[00:05:14]
Genecia Alluora: Share about your sabotages and your default money behaviors. What was your old zero and what is your new zero going to be? And your fears that affect you to be who you are today. Share about any new awareness of how your money blocks are crashing down or working against each other.

[00:15:36]
Genecia Alluora: Share about what triggers that need to be aware of. So I found that sharing all these memories and learnings really brought us together because it is something that we both respect about our relationship and that is something that we can learn more about each other that we really haven't shared before. Even though we have been on this journey together for more than ten years, we've been friends then and then now we are partners and we are soul mates. So more than ten years already. So it's always good to find new layers to share and get really vulnerable and understand stuff.

[00:16:27]
Genecia Alluora: And sometimes he might not understand, but as you share more, as I share more, he will start to understand. So it's kind of like opening up your books, exploring the different chapters of the books, and going to fine prints. Right? So the fine print, you need to read the fine print, or sometimes you need to learn to read between the lines. Okay.

[00:16:51]
Genecia Alluora: So really he is divorced and he comes from a family of four. Four siblings. Right. For me, I grew up in a family of two, and my family values boys more than girls. That's very Asian culture.

[00:17:10]
Genecia Alluora: Yeah. So when we grew up in different value systems and grew up in different type of families, our experiences will be very different and therefore have a sense of curiosity about each other. It can really help both of you to analyze and release the sabotaging behaviors around money so that both of you can go to the next level. I found myself the best time to talk about this is in a low pressure conversation, like maybe going for a long drive or a walk. Sometimes I will ask for a space to talk.

[00:17:52]
Genecia Alluora: This is a common language when we do healing work, because he has gone through Tony Robins program, Money and You, Landmark, and which is pretty much what I've gone through exactly as well. And I've gone through Psychology of Vision. He has gone through the Psychology of POP. He gone to POP, I've gone through POV. So we speak somewhat the same lingo.

[00:18:14]
Genecia Alluora: I will ask him for a space, like, for example, is it okay I have a space to talk. I don't need a solution right now. I don't need you to give me an answer. I don't need you to have an opinion. I just need you to listen.

[00:18:30]
Genecia Alluora: This is something I want to share with you. So I actually would say this statement so that he will know what he needs to do just to sit down and listen. And that's when no pressure, low pressure conversation will happen, and we'll just share with him. So you could also ask your partner these few questions, some suggestions. What do you remember about money as a kid who earned the most money out of your parents?

[00:18:58]
Genecia Alluora: What was the power dynamic light? Did you get any pocket money? What do you learn about money in your early 20s? So these are just some guiding questions, depending on how your relationship with your partner, right? For me, like I shared with you, mine is just asking for a space to share with him, and then after that, maybe later on, he can share his opinion, but definitely not during a time when I ask for the space to talk.

[00:19:26]
Genecia Alluora: Okay. So you can also ask about the good and bad things they learn from their parents and use it to talk about how you like to be as parents if you had kids. So you can open up a dialogue and probe further. Sometimes I ask him about his parenting style with his daughter and his son because he's divorced. So I will ask him.

[00:19:49]
Genecia Alluora: I said, So how would you manage your daughter, especially now she's a teenager, she's asking for money. She's asking you to spend $20 a meal, even on weekday, because she just don't want to eat the dinner that has been cooked at home. She wants to order grab food, panda, so that she can just have food served to her because she didn't want to walk out for whatever reason. So how did he manage that? How did he manage the money story or money expectation in the relationship with the daughter?

[00:20:28]
Genecia Alluora: So to understand him more, so all these things, you can be open about it and casual about it, so that if your partner is really open and self aware, he could share with you more, right? So why do you do XYZ with your money? Or why do you do XYZ with your daughter when you talk about money with her? So all these for me, help me to understand my partner better. And that's how you can do it as well.

[00:21:03]
Genecia Alluora: So the point is you don't protect yourself or sorry, don't project. That means you don't project your stuff onto them. Don't project the stuff onto them, but also don't try to coach them through too much or make them wrong for their past behaviors. Okay, I don't know if you understand this, but don't project your stuff onto them. Yes, don't project and don't force your idea onto them because they are entitled to their own thoughts and behaviors around money, right?

[00:21:45]
Genecia Alluora: So you can just share. Let him share so that you both can come to a common ground eventually, because you can only change your thoughts and your own behaviors. And if you get caught up trying to fix your partner, then you'll miss out the lessons for yourself. So you need to learn how to be subtle about it. Okay?

[00:22:10]
Genecia Alluora: All right. So I hope you learned something as I share with you my experience and how you can also use this as an opportunity to speak up what you want and start acting as if and plant seeds of what you want. And you could also say things like, hey, I'm so grateful that you're so supportive of my business, even though he might not be that supportive. So as you start to change yourself first, he might begin to see that, and he might begin to shift because you are shifting, right? So another thing you could say to him is, thank you so much for being a great husband slash boyfriend.

[00:22:59]
Genecia Alluora: Well, I couldn't do this without you. And you tell him, happy wife, happy life, happy girlfriend, happy life. So kind of like brainwash him in a good way, really, because if you act up and try to be the controlling person and say, no, you must do this, you must learn this, I don't think he will appreciate that. Just as you will not appreciate if your partner come to you and say, hey, you must learn this and you must do this. You don't want that, right?

[00:23:32]
Genecia Alluora: So there must be some kind of mutual respect between this journey. All right? So you can also remind him how miserable you used to be when you had a job, or if you are still in a job or you're still a 9-5 employee. They can tell him how it's affecting not only you, but your relationship together and why it's worth the short term sacrifices you keep reinforcing the vision that you want to have in your life and for your life. In NLP, we call it chunking up.

[00:24:07]
Genecia Alluora: Chunking up means moving up the information pieces into bigger pieces to seek agreement in a space where it's easy to get agreement with the other person. So the point is that when you are on this beautiful journey together, and money is definitely going to be a huge talking point for a lot of couples.

[00:24:30]
Genecia Alluora: And therefore it's worth exploring this journey together. So play to your individual strength and know that both of you have a part to play in this. Maybe one of you is brilliant with spreadsheets, so make sure that you are both working in your zone of genius. Like for me, I am very creative and I love to create stuff and I can do marketing really well and make big leaps in income easily. I can make money pretty much easily, yes.

[00:25:06]
Genecia Alluora: And I have been the one in our family to suggest big dreams and give each of us the courage to make big jumps in our income. Whereas for him, he is the one who does all the day in, day out, the business development, the structuring of the business, the organizational stuff. To me it's a little bit boring, but to him, he is really good with that. He knows exactly who are the ones we need to talk to if we want to buy a property, who are the things that we what are the things we need to look out for, which area we need to invest in, who does the paperwork. All these things is really very good.

[00:25:53]
Genecia Alluora: So between us, we get amazing things done, but neither of us could do it alone. And that is why it is important to have a shared vision for the future. What if they are not open at all to dealing with the money stuff? Maybe you're not as lucky as me having somebody as a partner who is open about discussing about money. What if they are outright skeptical, cynical and negative?

[00:26:24]
Genecia Alluora: All I can say is that's okay because you don't have to do the whole program together. And I have some tips for you and you can still use it to explore money and your relationship. The first thing is to constantly paint your future picture together with him. Talk about all the amazing things you want to do together. If you have big goals, talk to talk about them in very powerful ways.

[00:26:55]
Genecia Alluora: Like for example, isn't it exciting that we're going to build a house together? Isn't it really exciting that we're going to travel together? Isn't it exciting that we are going to buy this car together? So kind of talk about the bigger picture stuff like I shared with you. Chunking up information to seek agreement is one of a very powerful ways so that you can get the conversations going and of course to encourage a partner, partner to come with you for the open houses or look at the holiday brochures or to start the plan maybe for the trips. So kind of getting him involved and chunking up information so that you guys can come to a common agreement.

[00:27:45]
Genecia Alluora: So if they say things because they might be negative, right? Or cynical so he might say things like how are we going to get the money? Then you just tell him hey, just play along. We are just exploring the opportunity, a possibility maybe we can do this, we can do that, right? So also tell them and ask them not to automatically say negative about things because they could be on autopilot or auto default behavior like automatic.

[00:28:20]
Genecia Alluora: Wherever you say you'll see negative things, whatever you mentioned, they'll go back to the negative. So painting the picture for the future is particularly important if you're building a business and money hasn't come in yet. So you have to constantly remind them why you're working long hours or why you need to invest in your business. Maybe they are really helpful suggesting that you get a job when the business feels really tough for you or when you kind of hit a point of no return. Try not to scold them and say that why you don't believe me.

[00:29:03]
Genecia Alluora: You cannot see that I'm doing what I can. No, don't go into that conversation in that manner. You will definitely make the thing hold go haywire here. So what you can do is just to say, just to recognize that it probably you not doing well yet, has triggered some of them all money blocks about having not enough because they're asking you to find a 9 to 5 job, right? And instead of do more marketing, get more business.

[00:02:41]
Genecia Alluora: They are telling you, hey, the solution is to get a 9 to 5 job. Don't do business anymore. So this is one of the trickiest one. Especially if they haven't seen results for your business yet and also because they are doing all the education and training that you are, they haven't seen all the success stories that you have. So it's important that's why for you to be a bit more open with them and always chunk information up to seek agreement.

[00:30:14]
Genecia Alluora: Sometimes you can also share success stories, right? You can share with them about the law of attraction. Maybe you don't force, don't force discount money stuff onto them. So slowly, slowly find ways to introduce little things that is about money, manifesting the F word, all these things, okay?

[00:30:43]
Genecia Alluora: Also one thing is that you don't have to share everything with them. Just share what is necessary and what is appropriate. You don't have to really open yourself up every day to them, especially when online business or marketing is not even their area of expertise. Because if they don't understand marketing or they don't understand branding, they don't get it. They won't get it.

[00:31:10]
Genecia Alluora: So it's not their business to be that part. So don't kind of rely on them for masterminding or even validation. You might not always get the reaction that you're after or get the response that you are looking for. And that is why community is extremely important. Your mentor, your coach, is really very important.

[00:31:33]
Genecia Alluora: So you go to your mentor and your coach for the masterminding and validation, not so much to your partners, especially when the partner is new to all these things. So kind of be aware of that. Also, you can see who can find the most amount of money in that hidden gem exercise or who can attract the most coins or money in a single day. This can be a really fun way to get your partner on board. Kind of have no complaining about money challenge, no negative money, talk about money challenge.

[00:32:16]
Genecia Alluora: Yeah, kind of something like that. To have some games. Easy to introduce him about money. All right? So you can even tell him that if you talk negative things about money, then you have to put a dollar, $1 into this complaining jar and you could even do money bingo together.

[00:32:43]
Genecia Alluora: Write down some of the negative things you say both about money and then like, bingo. Okay, just kidding. I'm going crazy on that.

[00:32:56]
Genecia Alluora: Now, if all you can change is the language you use together as a couple, that will make a huge difference. So my point is this. Just get your partner started on something small, baby steps. Don't impose that, wow, I got to complete everything and get him to complete everything kind of thing. No, don't do that.

[00:33:17]
Genecia Alluora: So just make him go through the baby stuff, take the baby steps, play games, have some fun. You could also tell your partner how things they say trigger you and ask for help. Ask for a safe space, for example, babe, when you say things like that, it really triggers my feelings of safety and it reminds me of when I was a kid. Call them on their language, but don't try and coach them or fix them. Just be a pattern interrupter, highlight to them, feedback to them.

[00:33:58]
Genecia Alluora: And that's the best thing you can do is to be a role model. So the last thing I want to say, that it sucks sometimes to be the one who has to drive everything. However, what is the alternative? I mean, you don't leave your dream life. You hold yourself back because it sucks.

[00:34:16]
Genecia Alluora: No. Right. We have to lead by example, be role models, because we have to be responsible for the change we want to see in our own life. It's we who want the F-word, the fabulous, the freedom, the financial independence and happy family. Of course, it would be nice sometimes to sit back and let someone else do everything and direct the show.

[00:34:43]
Genecia Alluora: If not now, then when? If not you, then who? Listen closely. If not now, then when? If not you, then who?

[00:34:56]
Genecia Alluora: We've been given this calling because we can handle it. You are not here by chance. Think about that. You chance upon this program, this audio, not because you suddenly appeared. I suddenly appeared it's because you have been directed here with and by the universe to be going through this journey.

[00:35:20]
Genecia Alluora: So between us, we have got a community of women to help you to get through this and we have been through just about every situation you can imagine. And we are here to support you. Some women have completely upgraded their relationships with their partner. Some upgraded by splitting up, which is not to scare you, but just to let you know that no matter what happens, happens. You can totally handle it if you deeply and completely love and accept yourself.

[00:35:52]
Genecia Alluora: Like I always say, this is your time and you are ready for the next step. We have to be the role models. And you have been given this calling because you can handle it.

[00:36:08]
Genecia Alluora: So, any aha's from this exercise? Any exercises that you would like to share with your partner? Specifically what triggers you most about your partner's behavior? Is there anyone to add to your forgiveness list? Anything new to tap on?

[00:36:29]
Genecia Alluora: Well, here are some suggested affirmations. It is safe for me to grow and change. It is safe for me to trigger others. It is safe for me to out learn and outearn my partner. It is safe for me to have both money and love.

[00:36:53]
Genecia Alluora: We are really here to support you my dear. So here are some questions that I often get asked. One question will be Genecia, my partner is really seriously negative. What do I do? All I can say is you can't let them be your excuse.

[00:37:14]
Genecia Alluora: And if they really won't change their behavior, then you have to do everything you can to protect yourself from it. And the best way is to work on your own inner beliefs and own money story without trying to fix them and force them onto your partner. And it will give you an armor to deal with their negativity. The community is here to support you. Then the question will be Genesia.

[00:37:44]
Genecia Alluora: How can I make them listen to the audio or do the exercises? Dear, you probably can't if they don't want to. But that's okay because everyone learns in different ways as I've mentioned. Maybe you could play some of the audios in Journey or discuss with them some of the concepts over dinner. But seriously, the biggest thing is to change yourself first because you can't fix anyone else. And only when you change you can be an inspiration to them too.

[00:38:28]
Genecia Alluora: Genesia, are you going to do something for men? You know what, I don't have really any plans to do money blogs or write books or stuff for men because they are not my target market, you know, right? My legacy business Soul Rich Woman is to help women and women's partners so that the women in the community can grow together with their partners.

[00:39:02]
Genecia Alluora: So, kind of like my focus is always working with women. All right, and last question that I get asked too as well is Genecia, I think I need to leave my partner. How can you help? Now if you don't think there's a way back that your relationship with your partner is no longer going to be the way out because he's not growing and you are growing and there's imbalance, whatever that may be. All I can assure you is don't worry, you are not alone. We are here with you and it happens all the time where you have grown so much that you realize that the relationship isn't going to grow with you.

[00:39:58]
Genecia Alluora: Well, the fact is some couples get stronger, others break up and that's life. You can't hold yourself back and use your relationship as an excuse not to leave your F-word. Fabulous freedom, financial independence and happy family. We'll support you through any decisions that you make.

[00:40:22]
Genecia Alluora: All right, so this is how it is going to be, my dear. This is all about your partner's money blocks your relationship with money as a couple and how you guys deal with your money stuff. So remember, your money stuff is your responsibility, not theirs. And your life and your dreams are also just as important and not to leave it to chance. I love you. I send you my love and I'll speak to you soon. Bye for now.