[00:00:00]
Genecia Alluora: Hey, gorgeous. Welcome back to this episode. I'm your host, Genecia Alluora. Today I want to talk about who is holding you back. Who is holding you back from your success, your F word, fabulous freedom, financial independence and happy a family. So, as you have probably figured out by now, most of your money stuff revolves around the totally made up stories and all shitty beliefs around what you're allowed to be, do and have in your life. And this is a really tricky one because we are going to dive deep into the stories you have around how your income and maybe even your potential income affects the people in your life. And the funny thing is, most of the time this isn't true. Those stories isn't even true. But I found out that the fear of potential problems can cause you to hold yourself back from earning more without even being aware of it. So this exercise in particular is important for you. If you find yourself at an income plateau or an income flat line, that means you're not growing at all in your income level. Now, it's really powerful to ask yourself the questions what's symbolic about this income level?

[00:01:33]
Genecia Alluora: Who do I know earns this type of income? What stories do I have about people at this income? What can I clear and release? So, four questions, what's symbolic about this income level? Who do I know who earns this type of income? What stories do I have about people at this income? What can I clear and release? Trust me, this is a really juicy exercise and you might uncover something really surprising.

[00:02:12]
Genecia Alluora: Let me share a few stories to illustrate how this can work. I remember when I was running my image consultancy business after winning Miss Singapore. A company paid me 2500 Singapore dollars to conduct a training workshop for 3 hours. I was super excited. I bought a new outfit, I got my high heels and I drove there in my super old car. And of course, I didn't charge for travel time or materials. But hey, I was really excited. 2500 Singapore dollars for 3 hours. I told my mother about it and I saw two emotions struggling on her face at the same time. One was she was really proud of me and excited for me. And the other one was, what you are being paid $2,500 to speak and train to people for just 3 hours and I'm working my butt off. In that very moment, I made up a story to cover up what I was seeing in her face. That it was incredibly inappropriate. That it was wrong for me to make money easily when other people actually had to work for their money. And I used that story to hold myself back for many months because I feel really embarrassed and sick about it.

[00:03:58]
Genecia Alluora: Why should my mom work so hard? I've already supported myself through school. Now she should be more relaxed. Why should my mom work so hard? Why now should I have it so easy? Who am I to experience such abundance, such ease of success so easy for me to make money, so easy for me to receive money. It was a story, but it was a powerful one that impacted my money's story and impacted my money income. The income that I wanted to earn.

[00:04:43]
Genecia Alluora: So you see, when a situation happened subconsciously or even consciously, we create stories that hold ourselves back unknowingly or knowingly. So the question is, have you ever experienced something like that when you actually feel bad about something that you should feel good of? Making 2500 Singapore dollars at that point in time, just right after winning Miss Singapore and being hired as an image consultant to speak for just 3 hours, that was easy to receive that abundance. And yet I created a story and that impacted my income.

[00:05:35]
Genecia Alluora: Now, here's another story. When I started making when I crossed from offline to online, moving out of the offline training part of the business and then I moved myself to online where I started to teach and do training, mentoring, coaching online, I made $100,000 within the first three months of moving online in my business. And then I started feeling really blocked and kind of uncomfortable again. And I couldn't figure out why I was feeling so uncomfortable making $100,000 in three months. That's really very amazing for me. As a part of my philosophy of just give everything and just do everything I can do the best I can be the best I can be.

[00:06:33]
Genecia Alluora: I started looking at what six figures meant to me. Who did I know who earned the kind of money? Definitely not most of the people I knew. Friends, family, none of them made $100,000 in three months or a million dollars within a single year. And I did just that from six figures. I went on to seven and then crossing my milestone and then I started a cafe retail chain with my partners. We were in three countries. We had 18 franchises and licensees. I was making so much money but I just felt really uncomfortable and I couldn't figure out why. So when I examined myself, who did I know earned that kind of money?

[00:07:22]
Genecia Alluora: So like I shared with you, definitely not the people around me, my friends or my family. Ah. And then I realized that my uncle made that kind of money and he was always super generous and loved being the provider. So when my income started to surpass his income, I unknowingly made up a story. The story was that by earning more, I was disrespecting someone I loved.

[00:07:54]
Genecia Alluora: I was disrespecting the elder in an Asian family. I become more successful than him. It makes me look like I am not respecting family values or kind of trying to overstep the boundaries. And I was taking away his enjoyment of being generous and wealthy in the family. I was in danger of taking away his role as a provider in our family.

[00:08:26]
Genecia Alluora: I was taking away his role, the danger of taking away his role as the one who is rich in the family. Now, if you ask me about this, he will say he is really happy for me, proud of me. But I was using the story that I created myself to unconsciously hold myself back from earning more because there was these negative consequences, perceived negative consequences to someone I loved. Especially when I really love my uncle and I respect him a lot. So you see, none of us want our income to create something negative.

[00:09:14]
Genecia Alluora: So of course we might hold ourselves back. But of course, you don't want to overshadow people. You don't want to make them feel bad or outshine your friends and your family. It's a testament to your loving heart that you are even holding yourself back in the first place, even if it's a made up story. So does that make sense? Ready to give it a try? Maybe you already know and it's immediately popped up into your head who, what and why is holding you back.

[00:09:51]
Genecia Alluora: So I want you to start uncovering everything you can think of. But if you have no idea, let's go through it together. Think about your yearly money goal. If you earn it easily and enjoyably through your business doing things that you love, how would that impact other people in your life? Would you mean that you become the girl, like an Asian family?

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Genecia Alluora: For me, sometimes I would think that as a girl, as a woman, we should not outshine the men in the family. That is very true. It's a story that I created for myself and that's completely bullshit. But I can tell you it's really bullshit that I created that hold me back. Okay, so for you, what would that be?

[00:10:45]
Genecia Alluora: How would that impact other people in your life? Start with your significant other. Your spouse, your partner, your family. How would your goal, your goal of your income or the money that you're making now affect them negatively? What's the worst thing that could happen if you are earning more than them?

[00:11:11]
Genecia Alluora: Or you are having an amazing, awesome income goal? Are you worried that you overshadow your partner, sidestep the boundaries and become the stronger partner in the relationship? That there would be maybe an imbalance of power or struggle, power struggle in the relationship because you are having awesome income goal that money could lead to fights, problems, or maybe even arguments. So, my dear, list out everything you can think of. Even if it feels really silly.

[00:11:52]
Genecia Alluora: It feels really stupid to say out loud. And I want to encourage you to do that even though you don't really, really believe in it. Because you never know what unconscious mind or what your stories, hidden stories, could be holding you back. Because logically, most of that wouldn't be true anyway. But there's a small part of you that might believe in it.

[00:12:23]
Genecia Alluora: So to me, it's totally worth clearing. Okay, next, your parents. What would happen if you earn a lot more than them? Look at them separately. How would your dad feel? How will your father feel? How would your mum feel? How will your mother feel? Would they be proud of you? Or would they be ashamed or embarrassed about their daughter earning more than them?

[00:12:49]
Genecia Alluora: Will it make them feel bad about themselves? Again, this might not be even true. But you need to uncover those fears of yours and perceptions about how it would affect them. Because it's a story that you created based on your fears, right? So you need to uncover your fears and perceptions of how it will affect them.

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Genecia Alluora: So remember, it's not the reality but the fear that we are interested in. And I want you to use your creativity here to come up with any possible scenario. Next, your friends, would they think that you were a stuck up person if you were earning more than them? Would they think that you are a stuck up rich woman if you started to charge premium pricing and therefore being able to command a higher fee than them? Would they feel like failures? Something to think about? What about your mentors and your coaches?

[00:13:59]
Genecia Alluora: Would it be disrespectful to outearn them, to bypass their own success? Are you unconsciously holding yourself back to spare their feelings? To not hurt their feelings? Well, on the surface of it, you probably will tell yourself the answer is no, of course not. But if you are willing to look and get into the spirit of decluttering and throwing everything at it, could you have some lingering fear?

[00:14:33]
Genecia Alluora: So what do you do with this information? As always, awareness is the first step. Ask yourself how am I going to use this story to hold myself back? Or how have I used this story to hold myself back? Now you need to forgive and use EFT to do tapping same thing starting with a very generic script.

[00:14:58]
Genecia Alluora: Like for example even though I'm holding myself back for other people in my life, I am deeply and completely loving and accepting myself. And then work your way through their fears one by one. Name them out loud and in the present tense as if they are true now and really feel the impact and get really specific. For example, even though I am overshadowing my dad, I deeply and completely love and accept myself. Even though I make my brother feel bad about himself, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.

[00:15:42]
Genecia Alluora: Even though my friends think I'm a stuck up bitch, I deeply and completely love and accept myself. Even though my friends think that I am a stuck up rich woman snobbish rich woman, I deeply and completely love and accept myself. Breathe and release.

[00:16:08]
Genecia Alluora: I have to say, when I did this one myself, it shocked me the realization that I was holding myself back this way. It's just another layer of an onion or another layer in the box of bottomless tissue paper. Box of tissue paper. So that's another angle to explore. And you know this nobody is really holding you back from making more money or owning and loving your effort to fabulous freedom, financial independence and happy family.

[00:16:44]
Genecia Alluora: It's just your perception and absolutely not your responsibility how it's going to make them feel. So get clearing. And as always, if you have a aha about this exercise, make sure you share it. You can also share it with me by dropping me an email at hello@soulrichwomen.com.